Insert photo of yourself here

It’s too easy to offend people these days. That goes for all sides of the political spectrum. All races, colors, creeds, whatever. Everyone is just begging to be offended by something. 

Even worse than offending a person is making that person “uncomfortable.” There’s no worse emotion than discomfort, and no one should have to go through life as a person experiencing discomfort. Trust me, I know. Lots of things make me feel uncomfortable, too — diarrhea, stepping on a rock, crowds. 

This bear happens to be a great writer.

But far be it from me to ever want to cause anyone to be person experiencing offense or a person experiencing discomfort. After all, we as persons experiencing Americanism, no, we as persons experiencing humanity, have the right to never see, read or hear anything we don’t agree with. That’s only fair. (If you are a non-human who has attained the ability to write, I apologize for excluding you.) 

So here, just fill in the blanks and you can have your very own John Bear with me column. At the end you will find an apology note you can also fill in. And if you write your own column,  you still feel as though you are a person experiencing discomfort, might I suggest antacid. 

(Insert title here)

So I was reading the news about (political issue, societal trend) and I couldn’t help but feel (emotion). It’s really just outrageous that (public figure, group of people) feel that (he, she, they) have the right to (behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable.)

Remember, it was (historical figure held in high regard.) who once said (quote from historical figure held in high regard). We should remember that as we move forward and strive to (goal) and always (I don’t know, another goal or something.)

bear sihouette
For bears who write.

This, of course, reminds me of (memory from childhood/last outrage on news) and that is why I (do some activity to ease the pain/think a call for action is appropriate) in order to (put another goal or end here.)

It’s (never too late/probably too late) for us as a (society/group/smaller group/organization) to (stop/continue/resist/bring back) the (way we once were/the way we were/the way we are headed) in order to make for a (better/more just/more egalitarian world.)

It’s (a long road ahead of us/not a long road ahead of us.) This is (by no means going to be easy/totally going to be easy.)

An open apology to (name/organization/group)

I (your name) apologize for making (name/organization/group) (umcomfortable/offended.) This was never my intention. I would just like to take this opportunity to apologize for causing you to be a (person/organization/group) experiencing not writing the column you would have written. With (god/other supernatural being/I’m not religious, just spiritual) as my witness, I will henceforth be a person experiencing not writing anymore. 



“I can’t believe I had to see/read/hear something I didn’t fully agree with!”

One thought on “My very own ‘John Bear with me’ column

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